Crossing Over and Coming Back
The Blessings in My Near Death Experiences
At the age of 2 1/2, when one is not really supposed to remember, I distinctly remember my first near death experience. At that young age I needed a tonsillectomy yet surgery was delayed due to a concern with my blood clotting factor. I was finally cleared for surgery however during recovery blood came flowing out of every orafice and I was placed in isolation.
I saw my soul like a glowing light hovering up above near the ceiling in a corner of the room. There was a central light illuminating my tiny body swaddled in white all alone on a gurney in the center of the room. As I gazed down at myself in trauma, I heard my mother calling, “Please let me see her.”
My precious mom who had lost so many in the holocaust and had endured so much to become a mother to my sister and me, was inconsolable. Thankfully, the ICU nurse took pity on her and let her in to see me.
It was a miracle. My soul had left my body and it was my mother’s love that called me back. I guess my soul contract was important and leaving so soon was no longer an option. As my mom entered the room, I could feel the pull and nourishment of her love and I returned for whatever this lifetime was meant to hold.
I emerged from this with a deep and instinctual love and curiosity of nature, a belief in miracles, and a love of song. Perhaps it was the song of my mother’s voice that drew me back.
During my 20’s I was living and working in NYC. Scouting for a new kitchen for God’s Love We Deliver, I was riding the N Train in Brooklyn. Stopped at the platform of a dank, dark station, a school-aged boy approached, his back-pack thumping against each window. As I heard the thump-thump-thumping of the boy’s knapsack coming closer, an intense smell of stale urine assaulted my nose. As I stood to change my seat, the backpack thumped the window beside me shattering into razor-like shards of glass that landed in my hair. Had I been seated, I would have been seriously hurt, perhaps even decapitated. Once again, I guess I my soul mission was not yet complete.
This helped me to trust my inner knowing, my dreams, and all of my senses and the messages they bring.
As part of my work with AIDS and God’s Love We Deliver, it was often requested that I be with people during their transition from life through death and into new beginnings. What a gift! In addition to roleplaying the films of their life, cradling them in my arms as we enter a cool blue pool of water and encouraging them that it’s alright to release, to let go, I have always used my voice to help carry them home. Now too, I can add Sound Healing to this journey.
The people I’ve encountered who have had near death experiences, or NDE’s, have often emerged with a newfound appreciation of themselves and a renewed passion for life itself. NDE’s needn’t be a physical passing. It can be about transition, letting go of what no longer serves like divorce, addiction, loss of a business, or any severing or completion to make inner space for new beginnings.
Each NDE has left me with valuable and lasting lessons and awakenings. The one constant in all has been my ever-rising love and longing for song and healing sounds to guide me through and aid in releasing grief, pain, shock or “stuckness” I was feeling.
Just as we savor the cycles of the moon as it transits through the heavens, so too may we surrender to delicious tones, dulcet hues in our lives and soar into new adventures on sound symphonies. If you ever feel challenged by life or by navigating death, tune within to the power of your own sacred voice and always remember how much I love you.
Be in Bliss.
Love, Pamela
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